Why so much pain if God is Good

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Growing up, our community knew pain and hardship all too well. One year, three children around my age became sick and died. In the small cemeteries from the 1800’s near where we lived, rows of children’s graves stood alongside those of women who died in childbirth. Pain and death are nothing new to the human experience—but the question remains: why?

In an earlier article, I described God as someone tending a garden. When we tend our gardens, do we protect every single plant? Or does nature sometimes step in? Even in a farmer’s field, when cultivating corn, some plants inevitably get run over by the tractor. It’s simply part of the process.

But isn’t God wiser and more careful with His creation than a farmer? Absolutely. The challenge is that we, as humans, cannot see the entire picture. We often imagine God deciding: This person gets a long, healthy life; this one suffers or dies young. But that’s not how it works.

I’m not an expert on God’s ways. But many people who have had near-death experiences return with profound insights. There are practitioners who have guided thousands through hypnotic regression. There are university studies, research groups, and interviews documenting these experiences—real data, real accounts, not mere imagination.

When someone begins asking why a good God would allow so much pain, they must first let go of preconceived ideas. Each of us carries beliefs that can interfere with the search for truth—beliefs about which books we’re “allowed” to read and which topics are taboo.

I was raised Christian, and in my 30’s and 40’s I became very deeply involved in evangelical Christianity. I served as a lay pastor alongside another man, filling in for churches without a pastor. I sat on the church board, served as moderator, and formed close friendships with our pastors. I preached when needed, led praise worship, and participated in nursing home ministry.

My wife, a nurse, managed an assisted living home at the time, and became close with a couple who lived there and attended a Spirit-filled church. We would go with them to special events—especially when healing ministers came through. As someone passionate about health and nutrition, these experiences affected me deeply. When they prayed over me, I felt energy flow through my body.

Over the next several years, my belief in healing touch grew stronger. When a pastor moved north from down south, I helped him establish a church and became heavily involved there too. The healing experiences intensified. When I laid hands on people, I felt energy whoosh through me into them.

So what was happening? That question began another journey.

Later, my wife and I returned to our previous church and resumed leading adult Sunday School. But I struggled—week after week, no one would do the assigned reading, so instead of discussions, we simply had to teach. Around that time, a hospice nurse asked if we could visit a man with stomach cancer. We went, prayed, and took communion with him. When I laid hands on him, the energy was overwhelming.

He improved dramatically afterward and appeared to be on the mend. But our pastor at that time did not believe in healing. When he visited the man and was told about the improvement, he responded that the man was not healed and would die. The man declined again after losing hope. His family asked me to return and pray, which I did, but it was too late. I prayed for his family, and they felt the energy flow without me even touching them.

As the years passed, my business grew busier, and my involvement in healing gradually faded. Part of it was due to conflicts and disappointments in church leadership. Pastors are human, with their own struggles, and not immune to mistakes.

I also struggled within myself. Why wasn’t everyone healed? Some were, but many were not. If the energy was the Holy Spirit—and I believe it was—then I was merely the vessel, not the source. Yet the inconsistency troubled me.

Eventually I began studying near-death experiences more seriously. I found them incredibly compelling. But even then, I had to let go of my old assumptions before I could see clearly. I prayed and asked God to reveal the truth—even if it changed my belief system.

After that, it felt as though the windows of heaven opened. Synchronicities began happening everywhere. One book would lead to another. A topic mentioned briefly in one chapter would be answered in a different author’s work I “just happened” to come across. Videos would appear at just the right time—though today we must be more cautious, as many YouTube videos are now AI generated and not always grounded in truth. AI can be useful, but it reflects the intentions of the person behind it.

We will continue this in the next article.